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It Has come to my attention that a great deal of controversy has been surrounding me on the message board, an ED friend of mine emailed me a link as I read in horror as I was portrayed to be a cruel heartless monster out to take advantage of intended parents. I do not know if this will be posted but I wanted to write and not defend but to clear some things up...



As far as my cycle history, it would damage me more than anyone else to be less than forth coming about my cycle history; the long term effects are as of yet unknown for repeat egg donors and I want to be around for my own children’s futures with out complications. I would in no way put my children’s needs, wants, well-being or future secondary; regardless of how much I loved helping other families. The two cycles I committed to would have been my 6th and 7th thus bringing me to the end of my time as a donor.

Additionally, it was also stated that I assume alias’s, I was divorced this year which is the reason I legally went back to my maiden name, it was in no way an effort to appear to be a separate person.

It is easy for Ms. Demma to state what ever she chooses and not provide any sort of proof and I am not saying that every thing she has stated is inaccurate, Yes I was working with two different couples, one cycle was to take place immediately and the other was to begin once I finished up school for the semester... I will admit that it was not the wisest thing to do on my part taking on two families at one time, I have a very hard time saying no to people when they see in me qualities they do in themselves and want in their future off spring. I had every intention of completing my obligations to both couples. I am admitting to committing myself to more than one family and I am in no way trying to make an excuse for it, it was wrong bad judgment of my part and I ended up hurting both of those families and for that I carry more pain and regret in my heart than I can fully express.

However to portray that I set out with ill will in an effort to manipulate for personal gain could not be further from the truth. Ms. Demma has seemed to make it her mission to ensure that this situation has been made very public, and while I have an idea, her exact motives are still unclear to me. I have had the privilege to work with 4 amazing families whom I gave all of myself to and did everything in my power to ensure that they had a successful and positive experience; through me they were all able to become pregnant. So to make me out as some serial manipulator of IP’s is not only inaccurate, and hurtful but it’s also on the verge of slander.

I take being a donor very seriously and regard it as something close to my heart. I have given all of myself to the intended parents I have worked with each and every time and to have had it come to this point has really killed me.

I am sure most of you are not concerned with my feelings in this matter and I can understand that. I am, however, concerned with the feelings of the IP’s who read these threads and become even more disheartened and hopeless. Many donors, IP’s and agencies have made mistakes, we are only human beings, not perfect in any way shape or form, and yet they have not been “black listedâ€

Being a parent has been one of the greatest joys in my life; in certain ways it had saved me from embarking upon detrimental paths in my life as I have put my children’s needs and best interest forth right in my life and every day activates including being a donor. Every loving couple should have the opportunity to enjoy the positive experiences parenthood has brought to my life; my only wish is to help them in that. Witnessing firsthand the suffering and heartache infertility has caused to friends was just one of many factors that led me to my choice of being a donor.

Some people may think that it is monetary compensation that motivates donors and I am sure there are those for whom compensation is key. As for me, that is not the case. In my state there is a standard compensation given to a donor; in my independent donations I have never asked for a cent more, to me it wasn’t the money that motivated me. I will not lie to you and say it was not helpful to my family however the physical and mental strain cycling puts on a person and their family can not be measured in dollars and cents, my partner was not compensated for his role in assisting these families, or meeting with them and taking them out to dinner and making sure I was there for the retrieval when I was so swollen I could hardly move, my mother who came here from another state to care for my children as I went for my retrievals and then recovered was not compensated for her role in assisting these families either… The reason I prefer to do independent donations is because they are a matter of the heart to me, and getting to meet and know first hand what my contribution is doing for the lives of these people is what matters the most to me, I have been offered well over what I ask for compensation and have turned them down because my heart was not there, I have accepted less then half of what I would be compensated because I feel in love with that particular family and wanted with all of my being to help them.

These threads have been started by an individual who owns a matching agency, she is a businesswoman who runs a for profit organization and is compensated for the service she provides; as she herself (Ms.Demma) has stated, many of these businesses do not refund money lost due to unforeseen circumstances. While she claims that she does, it’s still a business to her and if she lists donors that she feels do not reflect favorably on her, the bottom line is that it affects her pocket. I am not saying or even trying to imply that that these matching services are not a great resource or that they can’t be amazingly helpful to the people that need them, there are undoubtedly individuals employed by many of these agencies that are truly concerned about helping the IP’s while making sure they offer the highest level of professionalism and ethics to match IP’s with a quality donor; unfortunately there are just as many that will take any donor that applies and are just handing them out to make a buck. I can understand how an IP may read these threads and the awful things written about me or other donors and take these things as fact.

Take a moment to think about it though; wouldn’t an agency that makes money off matching a particular donor to an IP love to take a qualified high demand donor or donors that had potentially lost them money out of the independent market or from other competing agencies rather than spending the time to iron things out? All I ask of you is that you remain impartial and don’t just take what is being spoon-fed to you from a for profit organization that is loosely regulated. Ask questions from the parties involved, I realized there was no way for you to do that in this particular situation which is another reason I wanted to come forward and address this myself.

There are always two sides to every story and just as some individuals may question my motives, ethics or morals the same can be done to them. It’s hard to know what the truth is especially when money is involved and unfortunately the owners/employees of the agencies as well as the donors are compensated. As I previously mentioned, the compensation I receive for a donation is often times discounted and doesn’t begin to cover the emotional or physical stress, the amount of time I devote to making sure I do everything in my power to have a successful donation, or the toll it takes on those I love who support me and help me get back and forth to monitoring appointments/doctors visits/retrievals and care for me when I am doubled over with cramps and bleeding after I complete the cycle. If I was in it for the money I would more likely focus on an aspect of this industry that was less taxing in all of those respects.

Helping Ip’s and Donors find each other is also something that I feel strongly about, every time I have educated someone on the joys and emotional fulfillment of being a donor and telling them in such a way that prompts them to want to become one as well, and from there I direct them to the right places to get started. All because I have a great respect for the entire process and I gain nothing from that other than the satisfaction of knowing I may have helped fulfill another’s dream of finding their perfect donor.

If anyone that ever has done or considered doing a cycle with me, or even anyone that wants to talk or correspond with me and make their own judgments about my character or has any questions I openly invite you to contact me. I wouldn’t be afraid to speak, meet or have you talk to any member of my family. I have nothing to hide and I am heartbroken that someone has made inaccurate and slanderous statements about me. It pains me to know that someone may have made you uneasy about your choices or decisions and tarnished my reputation all to elevate their business or name. Not one of these agencies has contacted me or asked me any questions and it seems to me that they are only concerned with covering their own butts based on the words and actions they have taken.

as well as the donors are compensated. As I previously mentioned, the compensation I receive for a donation is often times discounted and doesn’t begin to cover the emotional or physical stress, the amount of time I devote to making sure I do everything in my power to have a successful donation, or the toll it takes on those I love who support me and help me get back and forth to monitoring appointments/doctors visits/retrievals and care for me when I am doubled over with cramps and bleeding after I complete the cycle. If I was in it for the money I would more likely focus on an aspect of this industry that was less taxing in all of those respects.

Helping Ip’s and Donors find each other is also something that I feel strongly about, every time I have educated someone on the joys and emotional fulfillment of being a donor and telling them in such a way that prompts them to want to become one as well, and from there I direct them to the right places to get started. All because I have a great respect for the entire process and I gain nothing from that other than the satisfaction of knowing I may have helped fulfill another’s dream of finding their perfect donor.

If anyone that ever has done or considered doing a cycle with me, or even anyone that wants to talk or correspond with me and make their own judgments about my character or has any questions I openly invite you to contact me. I wouldn’t be afraid to speak, meet or have you talk to any member of my family. I have nothing to hide and I am heartbroken that someone has made inaccurate and slanderous statements about me. It pains me to know that someone may have made you uneasy about your choices or decisions and tarnished my reputation all to elevate their business or name. Not one of these agencies has contacted me or asked me any questions and it seems to me that they are only concerned with covering their own butts based on the words and actions they have taken.

i openly invite anyone to contact me who would like to discuss this in further detail

Could you post the link your firend sent ouy? I only got a the very short version of this and would like to know what the other side said. I am listed with this agency so it's something I'd like to see. You sound a lot like me in your reasons for donating and such.

Thank you for sending me that link. Having read the entire thread and seeing your ads posted there I know realize who you are. Not to sling mud on my buddy greateggs site, but you are a really shady person. How dare you? I want to say so much worse to you as you have hurt friends from other boards, but I'm not going to fight on her board. Don't bother trying to fight back because I will no longer read this thread or any post made by you.

Just know I am most likely the replacement donor for one of the couples you were scamming. Now they actually have a chance at having the baby of their dreams. Not thanks to people like you. Just get over it. Your name is out there and there are nets in place to catch you. Try being honest and you might get somewhere. Just not in the ED/S world.

you are entilted to your opinions... If you are donating to one of the couples I so called \"scammed\" i wish you and them the best of luck and success....

I do not feel I was fighting in any way, shape of form... I put myself out there for people to say what they want to me, if I had so much to hide from I would have just disapeered..

Lastly, as I was reading the responses Ms. Demma’s thread received I noticed a lot of people trying to link me to other donor issues that friends may have experienced, this situation is the only time I have ever had any issues with any cycle. I can understand how people may want resolution or to put a face or a name to family or friends ill encounter with a donor but please do not persecute me for the wrong doing of every donor out there. It’s simply not the case.

Hi my name is Mandie and i am Operations Coordinator for British Surrogacy Centre in the UK. With offices in both the UK and US California. We are currently looking for potential egg donors and surrogates and i would be very interested in hearing from you. If you would like to know more please email me mandiemayes@britishsurrogacycentre.com