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Hello, I'm new to this board. I was told about this site from another site. I was wondering, how did you decide on a donar, how do you feel about it? What has the experience been like so far? have you told friends or family?

About us. we're been ttcing for 11.5 years, yes that long. I have had a pregnancy that ended in a m/c at 12 weeks. Since then I haven't gotten pregnant since. I did an ivf cycle with my own eggs. and unfortunatly had 6 follicles, 5 eggs and only one made it to fertilization. After the 2ww, we found out it didn't work. Our RE is suggesting we do ivf with donar eggs. Any advice would be great.

I don't have any advice for you but I would like to send some baby prayers your way.

Thanks Ricky, that's nice of you to say. This site is a neat site. I\"m guessing you live in Tenessee? Do you have kids already? I think that's so wonderful that you're willing to be a donar for a couple that's unable to get pg with her eggs. you're truely an angel. Best of luck finding a intended parent. Keep me posted!!!! Good luck!!![/b]

Hi Kookacola,

I, too, am not in your situation. I can only slightly relate. My husband and I just decided that we want to participate in an egg sharing program, not only to make IVF more affordable, but to help another couple in need of some eggs. I have been somewhat surprised at people's reactions to our decision. Strangely, it's our friends who would have a difficult time donating their eggs, and our family who think it's the greatest idea in the world. I imagine that if the situation were reversed, and we were receiving someone's eggs, our friends would still feel the same, and our family would still be elated. My point is that unless you're a woman who has repeatedly experienced the disappointment and helplessness (and every other emotion) felt during her attempts to become a mother, you simply cannot fully understand. To me, the biggest gift of all is the ability to feel your child grow inside of you...to experience the ups and downs of pregnancy with your partner at your side. When you actually give birth to your child, look in his/her eyes, you probably won't be thinking about whether or not you share DNA. You will share a connection that no egg donor could ever share with your child. I suspect that nothing else in the world will matter. That said, if you feel unsupported by others when you tell them of your decision, try not to take it personally as most of them have no point of reference on the subject.

As for choosing a donor, I know my preference: family health history, appearance, personal interests/intelligence. I would absolutely want a clean bill of health, possibly allowing for illnesses that would run in my own family anyway. I would want the donor's appearance to slightly resemble my own (skin, hair, eye color, height, build, etc). Last, I probably wouldn't care too much about personal interests or intelligence. My interests are vastly different from those of my family, so I don't believe genetics play a huge role. As for intelligence, I would absolutely NOT choose a donor who appeared inarticulate or lacking intelligence. Further, I would not choose a donor simply because of her GPA. I spent a lot of time in \"gifted\" classes during my elementary through high school education. I am certain that the reason 99% of us were there was because we had parents who took an interest in our education. Sure, there was probably above-average intelligence for quite a few of us (especially those who entered during our younger years); however, many were simply book-smart and made excellent grades. My point is that one's GPA is not necessarily a predicter of her offspring's GPA. I believe intelligence is derived partially through nature, but primarily through nurture.

Well, that's the extent of my opinion on the matter. Hopefully someone with some experience can give you some first-hand insight. I wish you tons of luck and I hope this is your happy ending!

Crystal

I do have 4 children already but we are hoping for 2 more eventually once we get settled in VA. We are military so we just moved from TN to VA. This all began for me when I was given the opportunity through a friend to help her with a book she wrote and it really opened my eyes to the heart wrenching truth of infertility and multiple miscarriages. While I would love to be a surrogate I am afraid I would be too emotional involved but with egg donation I am giving the best of both world. I hope that the IP's would involve me but either way they goal is accomplished.

Why would the clinic say no? Isn't it ultimately your choice? If this is something you're comfortable with, who are they to say whether or not you can have your friend act as a donor? I hope everything works out; it sounds like you're really happy about having her as your donor.