Frustrated with donar!

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Frustrated with donar!

Postby kookacola » Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:15 pm

A year ago I phoned one of my friends on Mother's Day during my ivf cycle wihich wasn't going very good at the time. Since then she's said yes. However, she can't seem to decide on where she wants to cycle. Our re has suggested McGill in MOntreal if she wants to put some eggs asside for herself down the road. They're the only clinic in Canada who freezes eggs as well as embryos. Then our re also suggested Genesis. I would go back to the fertility clinic where I did my ivf but I felt they were partly to blame for the outcome of the bfn and it was just a problem after another with them. So......I want to get this ball rolling because either way, it will take a long time to ge into either places. I want my donar to make up her mind. Any tips on trying to approach her would be greatly appreciated!!!I feel like i\"m being stalled and I want to know now so we can get the process under way so our lives won't be on hole anymore.
kookacola
 
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Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:46 pm
Location: Alberta, Canada

she is you friend?

Postby penukoo » Sat Jun 07, 2008 5:22 pm

I think you should just ask. I realized she is doing you a great favor and you do not want to irritate her but as your friend should understand you are ready to get started. Or maybe she wants you to just make the decisions to where and when and then let her know. I just feel as you stated you are friends and friends should be able to have this conversation.
penukoo
 
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Postby kookacola » Sat Jun 07, 2008 6:02 pm

yo're right but I honestly dont' know how to approach this. Our re gave her the 2 places or clinic where she could cycle. So we're waiting on her to decide where she wants to go. I do worry her boyfriend will become a problem down the road. But yes, I do need to talk to her but I'm not goo ad this!! honestly but I really do think that time is NOT in our favor and I also feel that I want to get things rolling regardless as to weither she's our donar or not.
kookacola
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:46 pm
Location: Alberta, Canada

Postby donord » Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:44 am

It sounds as if she might be hesitant to donate. You said she mentioned something about freezing some of her eggs from the cycle for her own future use. Are you comfortable with this? Lets say they only get 3-6 eggs, how many will you get for your cycle? I only mention this because a cycle is so costly and because it is possible she has had second thoughts but cares about you to much to back out. Anyhow, if I were you I would choose the clinic and give her a call. Just say \" Hey, I think we should go with ______ (clinic name). I am going to give them a call later today but I wanted to make sure that was alright with you. Also, I wanted to make sure you are still okay with donating - and it won't cause problems with your boyfriend. If you are having second thoughts I can understand but please just let me know. I am thinking if you are still up for it we could get started within the next _____ (time frame). \"

On another note - is there any way to call the clinics and inquire about the success rates that they have had? It might make choosing one a little easier.
Take care
donord
 
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Location: Washington/Oregon

Postby kookacola » Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:07 am

I agree, thanks for the helpful tips on how to approach this. I do have a gut feeling that she deosn't watn to donate but doesn't have the balls to tell me. Actually I'm not at all confortable with her saving her eggs to freeze for herself down the road. It is costly and it's something that I don't agree with paying for. Dh thinks that if she wants to freeze her eggs for herself down the road, we should pay for it. it's so frustrating as I want to move on. Dh has said where he wants to cycle so that's progress at least.
kookacola
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:46 pm
Location: Alberta, Canada


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